Well, hello, I guess. At this point I expect I am talking to a vast empty space but hey-ho we’ve all got to start somewhere.
So, why blog, and why now?
I’ve toyed with the idea of blogging for over a year now, since I started feeling almost human again after my whole world was tipped upside down when my then wife told me that our marriage was over.
In the year since my break-up two things have loomed large in my life – Divorce & Dating. And if I’m honest another big, dark D lurks in the background; thankfully two break-ups haven’t led to a third breakdown.
Why blog now? Well, post-divorce life is a rollercoaster of emotions, of good experiences and bad, of lessons learned and loves lost. Glowing optimism gives way to deep loneliness only for rays of hope to shine through again. Often within days. This seems to be my life’s playlist. It’s playing on repeat.
So for me, equally cursed and blessed with a brain that over-thinks and a lot of time for it to do its best and its worst, this blog offers an opportunity to make sense of the maelstrom of thoughts, feelings and emotions that divorce and dating bring. It also offers me the opportunity to learn, to use my experiences to become a better person, a better parent and hopefully, in time, a better partner. To the right partner.
Is this something that many men do? I expect not, apparently expressing our deepest hopes and fears, sharing our highs and lows and opening ourselves emotionally is not the done thing for us men. But you know what, fuck that. We’re human, we all feel these things to a greater or lesser degree and whether tens of people or thousands of people read this I hope that somehow, something that I say will connect with somebody, will act as a light in sad times, and provide some laughs along the way.
I’m a lover of a good quote; with the advent of social media we see inspirational quotes every day – well, if that’s your thing, one person’s inspiration is another’s cliched bollocks I guess – and I will end my first ever blog with one of my favourites (and my next tattoo), from the late, great US comedian Bill Hicks:
“Don’t worry, don’t be afraid, ever, because this is just a ride.”
It’s one thing feeling touched by inspiration when we are happily going about our days, it’s another thing entirely to hold on to your belief in such words when life hits you where it hurts. But you know what? If there’s one thing that life has taught me in my 41 years it’s that things have a way of working out. And in the rearview mirror of our lives our blackest days can reveal themselves to be signposts to a better future to be enjoyed by a wiser version of ourselves.
Why now? I missed the real reason. This week has been the shits for me. I am hurting like I haven’t hurt for a long time. But I can’t allow myself to wallow in it; it will pass, I will learn, and as sure as day follows night, life will continue with all of the ups and downs that create the rich tapestry of our own personal stories.
Soundtrack: Bittersweet Symphony – The Verve