The Ultimate Style & Dating Fix Part 3: Back in the Game

imageA few months ago I embarked upon ‘The Ultimate Style & Dating Fix’ as a willing guinea pig for TranslateHer (https://lovelaughtertruthblog.com/2016/07/18/take-me-down-to-the-paradise-city-stepping-up-my-dating-game/). Well, Paula’s work with me is done, soooooo, how did I do? Has this raw material been transformed as if by alchemy into dating gold? People, read on….

I really didn’t know what to expect when I started working with Paula and I learned an awful lot, more so than I would have imagined. Through a series of informal Skype conversations I reached a number of realisations that lit a series of lightbulbs in my head; hell, some nights my brain lit up like Blackpool illuminations (but slightly classier and a little more cultured, obviously).

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This made a big difference to me and really changed my attitude towards dating. I liked that the tips and advice that were offered weren’t presented as some sort of dating 101, rather advice and forthright observations followed the natural flow of conversation and were responsive to what I happened to be banging on about at that particular time (and we had a laugh which is always a bonus).

So, what did I learn?

Well, I learned that my dating profiles were boring. Cheers. The upside is that apparently they were not reflective of who I am and what I’m like. Which was nice.

So, my first homework task was to write a profile that was me and that conveyed some of the bags of personality that were dying to be unloaded on the unsuspecting female dating populace. OK captain, I’ll give it a shot.

Profiles suitably updated I sent them to Paula for critical approval; a few judicious edits later (apparently I wrote too much when we were aiming for shorter and snappier; who’d have thought?) the final versions were ready to drop into dating cyberspace like a fresh meat missile.

Next, Matty, we need to sort those photos out. Apparently I look better than the photos that I was using. Personally I’m pretty clueless as to what is a good photo of me (although there are plenty of bad ones about that I have no problem spotting) and this objective opinion from a self-confessed alpha female was pretty useful. New photos? Check.

New profiles uploaded it was time to put them to the test; casting myself back out into the dating pool hoping for a bite. And…… They bit! To be honest I was surprised just how much difference these steps made to the interest that my profiles received. I was a little sceptical about some of the flourishes added by Paula, worried they would appear a bit, well, cheesy; but it seems that’s why she’s a dating expert and I’m but an apprentice.  In fact a number of women contacted me commenting specifically on the bits she’d added. Stage 1, job done.

Of course, having a good profile is one thing but that’s just a foot in the door, a toe in the water. It’s all about the date and to be honest I had become pretty dispirited with dating and that’s where a reminder of certain dating truths came in handy.

Yes, it’s a numbers game and a process of elimination. Chances are that you will have to meet at least a few people before you meet somebody that you would like to begin dating with a view to it going somewhere. And yes, it is a game – a numbers game, the dating game – and it can be helpful to approach it as such in the sense of it being something to be enjoyed without putting too much expectation into it. Each date takes you closer to meeting the person that you are looking for and even bad dates can teach you things that will prepare you for meeting her, teaching you more about the things that light a spark in you, as well as those that don’t.

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Perhaps most importantly working with Paula helped me to recognise patterns in my relationships that highlighted why those relationships weren’t right for me. In doing so it helped me to recognise what it is that will feel right and made me much more positive and proactive in seeking it. It also made the inevitable setbacks that much easier to brush off.

I want to meet someone that feels like my best friend, that makes life fun and that brings out what I believe to be my best qualities. Regardless of any literal or practical dissection of the notion, I want to meet somebody that makes me feel like I have found a soul mate. My ideal partner who will tickle my funny bone, tantalise my mind, touch my heart and tease my… ahem.

You know what? I want something that’s fucking amazing. I want to wake up every morning grateful for how fortunate I’ve been to meet somebody so wonderful. I wanna be adored, and I want to be able to give the very best of myself.

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OK, I don’t want to make a tit of myself about it but you get the picture. Yeah it may be cheesy, but sometimes cheesy is good.

Fucking amazing doesn’t happen overnight, but I think it’s worth waiting for. I have an opportunity to find it and I’ll be damned if I’m going to settle for less. And that’s the biggest thing I’ve taken from this process: the road may be bumpy but the destination will be worth it, and I’m headed in the right direction.

It’s all well and good talking about what I’ve learned but let’s be honest, there’s a bottom line here isn’t there?

Does the Ultimate Style & Dating Fix work?

Well, I may be knocking on a bit these days but there’s still some gas in the tank it seems, and working with TranslateHer has definitely revved my engine. And….. I’m in the early days of dating the most beautiful woman I’ve ever met.

So yeah, it’s pretty pretty pretty good.

Soundtrack:
Don’t Stop Me Now – Queen

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